If you haven't seen the blog Free Range Kids, today's post on a mom letting her son walk 1/3 mile to soccer and having the police pick him up is truly enlightening. As Free Range Kids blogger Lenore Skenazy puts it, it's like we're living in the Salem witch trials in which we hallucinate horrific danger in our towns instead of hallucinating witchcraft like they did back then. And we're all doing it!
Compared to my mom and other moms of my childhood, I'm overprotective. But I can still see the folly of never letting our kids have any freedom to walk around the neighborhood, or go to the library alone, or buy some candy at the corner store. And it has always made me so sad for my kids, and for this entire generation.
When is it going to change? When will we see kids out running around without a parent supervising? When can I feel like my kids can walk the three blocks to the park without an adult harrassing them about being without a parent? (And honestly, I have *nervously* let them walk down to the park to meet other kids, but I worry that I'm gonna be called on it probably more than I worry that they'll get abducted for heaven's sake.)
The only way it's going to change is if parents collectively change it. We all need to start seeing our neighborhoods as safe places again. We need to rebel against the fear-mongering media that touts stranger danger at every opportunity. We need to stop watching CSI episodes that involve danger to children (I know I had to stop years ago!).
Why do kidnappings make news? Because they're so rare! I'm all for the Amber Alert because it has saved children's lives, but the fact is most of those alerts have been for children abducted by family members. In Minnesota, all 21 of the Amber Alerts issued since 2002 have been for family abductions, not one of them for "stranger danger". (Star Tribune, March 11, 2009)
My kids are 10 and 12 now. I'm starting the process of pushing them out of the nest a little further and a little further all the time. Fortunately, we live in a neighborhood where kids are out and visible, and we have friends who also feel as I do that kids need some freedom. All of us moms are a little nervous about it, but we're doing it. The other day Elijah and I were at a friend's house in a more wooded, open neighborhood. We moms sent our boys a couple of blocks away into the woods to a marsh to "track the fox" and find some adventures. They came back muddy and as happy as could be. They're 12 for goodness' sake, let's let them explore!
Compared to my mom and other moms of my childhood, I'm overprotective. But I can still see the folly of never letting our kids have any freedom to walk around the neighborhood, or go to the library alone, or buy some candy at the corner store. And it has always made me so sad for my kids, and for this entire generation.
When is it going to change? When will we see kids out running around without a parent supervising? When can I feel like my kids can walk the three blocks to the park without an adult harrassing them about being without a parent? (And honestly, I have *nervously* let them walk down to the park to meet other kids, but I worry that I'm gonna be called on it probably more than I worry that they'll get abducted for heaven's sake.)
The only way it's going to change is if parents collectively change it. We all need to start seeing our neighborhoods as safe places again. We need to rebel against the fear-mongering media that touts stranger danger at every opportunity. We need to stop watching CSI episodes that involve danger to children (I know I had to stop years ago!).
Why do kidnappings make news? Because they're so rare! I'm all for the Amber Alert because it has saved children's lives, but the fact is most of those alerts have been for children abducted by family members. In Minnesota, all 21 of the Amber Alerts issued since 2002 have been for family abductions, not one of them for "stranger danger". (Star Tribune, March 11, 2009)
My kids are 10 and 12 now. I'm starting the process of pushing them out of the nest a little further and a little further all the time. Fortunately, we live in a neighborhood where kids are out and visible, and we have friends who also feel as I do that kids need some freedom. All of us moms are a little nervous about it, but we're doing it. The other day Elijah and I were at a friend's house in a more wooded, open neighborhood. We moms sent our boys a couple of blocks away into the woods to a marsh to "track the fox" and find some adventures. They came back muddy and as happy as could be. They're 12 for goodness' sake, let's let them explore!
Comments
I often think of how safe our neigborhood would be if our neighbors spent any amount of time outdoors looking out for one another. I don't even know our neighbors names! That's sad! I couldn't tell a stranger from a neighbor on our street to look out for anyone. :(
~Tara
Oh, I tagged you for a green meme. ;) Exciting, right?
With my elder girl, we ended up pulling her out of school to homeschool in 6th grade; she still schools at home. My younger, in 6th grade this year, is fortunately in a magnet school with busing. She still has to walk 4 blocks to the bus stop, down a street with frightening crime stats.
By next year, when she would have to go back to walking that eight-mile, we plan to have moved.
We have one high school for the whole city, and every teen walks (or finds a ride) to it every day.
I have to laugh at that cop the thought a 10-yo couldn't walk through a few blocks to soccer.
Right now we live in an apartment complex that runneth over with kids. We thought about buying a condo nearby so we can own our home, but then our kids wouldn't have such a good place to play...so we'll wait to get a house in a nice neighborhood.
I let our kids play outside unsupervised, and my biggest fear is that they'll forget to watch for cars in the parking lot! I think you can set logical boundaries -- no going into anyone's house unless you tell me first, no crossing the street, etc. -- that allow enough freedom.
In New York we had it made -- our "yard" was the forest, and yet were surrounded by a super-safe Waldorf community. Again, my biggest worry was cars. My kids could explore and play for hours totally safely. I miss that.
I wonder how are kids are ever going to be able to be out in the "real" world and have a good 6th sense about them and know when to trust their own judgement about other people!
I think I fear social services (and traffic) the most too. I almost feel the disapproval if I let my almost 7 yo boy go into a bathroom alone. It may be my imagination, but I think we are building some sort of society where judging others' parenting abilities is the normal (of course, those judging are thinking the same thing as we are now-vicious cycle).
I'm all for letting my children have their alone time (and Independence!) I am mostly an introvert and thus get my energy from my own (rare) spurts of alone time so I hate to take that from my kids. On the other hand, I do worry about being "in trouble" if I let my oldest use the men's bathroom even while standing right outside the door!