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| Staring out the window--a favorite past-time, and something I must do in order to function |
After yesterday's post, today I planned to write one called "Why I'm a Stay-at-home Mom (Still)". But I'm suffering from what I'm calling "introvert exhaustion" and can't think well enough to write coherent enough thoughts so I'm going to
I had meetings at church two nights in a row this week. That happens about once a month and it's way too much for me. Even though I like the things I do at church, and like the people there very much, I'm am counting the days when I get to be free from the obligations that cause me to have meetings. How many times do I have to re-learn to say no? And re-learn that only ONE obligation at a time involving no more than one meeting a week is what I can handle? I have such a hard time saying no when people ask me to do something. I feel honored to be asked, and I truly am interested in the groups I'm in.
I used to get so mad at myself, and/or I'd blame the organization I was part of. "Church is just not for me", I'd say, "I get so tired out, so exhausted from being there. There must be something wrong with that church!" Or, "what is wrong with me? Why can't I handle doing a few things outside the house more often?!"
I'm learning, however, to re-think this. I've known I'm an Introvert on the Myers-Briggs scale since at least college. But I only kind of knew what that meant. It's taken living it for so many years, thinking about it, and now, blessedly, finding that there are so many new books written about introversion out there, to really start understanding my temperament and why I need a lot of down time.
I am so delighted to learn more! I'm still reading...Introverts in the Church by Adam S. McHugh and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain have my bookmarks in them right now. The Introvert Advantage was given to me by a friend and turned on so many light bulbs in my head it has been such a blessing to my life. I'm starting to GET me! And in reading Introverts in the Church, I'm hoping to GET me in relation to church.
But for today, I’m getting that I need to do simple tasks like laundry and dishes, and take care of myself by walking, reading and staring into space, so that my energy returns.
I
guess this post DOES give one of the main reasons I’m (still) a stay-at-home
mom, and that’s that I need to save the majority of my energy for my family and
not for outside interests or work. If I had no family, I could probably handle those meetings and a job, come home to an empty (clean) house and regain my energy. But this is who I am. An introvert. A mom. A wife and homemaker. And I’m lucky to have a life
situation that allows for it, and a husband who “gets” it, appreciates it, and
is happy for it—even if I don’t always get it or appreciate it myself.
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